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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23366398">bloodstained flowers (and burnt cigarettes)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ford_Ye_Fiji/pseuds/Ford_Ye_Fiji'>Ford_Ye_Fiji</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Lupin III</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Found Family, Gen, Hanahaki Disease, Hurt/Comfort, IS THE AUTHOR PROJECTING????, Maybe - Freeform, Platonic Hanahaki, Platonic Relationships</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 11:47:58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,651</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23366398</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ford_Ye_Fiji/pseuds/Ford_Ye_Fiji</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The itch grew, that horrible feeling growing, curling around his spine, the feeling that those he loved would never hold him in the same regard.</p><p>-</p><p>Jigen catches feelings and is also stupid</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>39</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>bloodstained flowers (and burnt cigarettes)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hhhhh I’m so tired of looking at this fic pls just take it XD </p><p>ALSO I LOVE JIGEN SO MUCH HELP</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jigen could honestly say that Lupin and his gang of misfits were the best thing that had ever happened to him. After countless years of cruel, stupid, or downright malevolent bosses, as well as situations where he had to watch his own back just as much as his employers, he counted himself lucky that Lupin had hired him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Of course, he'd been... reluctant at first, and he had tried to shoot the other man several times.</span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">He’d thought Lupin mad for immediately searching for him after he’d tried to kill him- and nearly </span> <span class="s2"><em>had</em></span> <span class="s1">killed him. Instead of running away like so many others had done, Lupin had run towards danger, but he’d found after so long with the man that that was simply what Lupin did.</span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It took Jigenawhile to open up, Lupin practically taking a crowbar to the walls he’d put around himself, and prying them open so that Jigen's secrets and his self, a self that he’d hidden away for so long, saw the sunlight for the first time in years. And it was so easy after that to let down his guard.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He supposed that was where it all started, or ended really.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When he’d given up.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When he’d surrendered.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">One is never able to keep Lupin the Third at arm's length for long, not when he wanted something. And that had only been the first step. Goemon had weaseled his way in next, a calm, silent, and steady rock next to Lupin's loud excited energy. Another dependable loyal person, something that was very few and far between in their line of work.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It hadn’t really hit him, how far he’d fallen, until late at night. Another day, another heist, one pulled off extremely successfully despite Fujiko's rather halfhearted attempts at trickery. She’d seemed to sense the different mood that day, the unusually lighthearted banter that had seemed to fill their space with a warm glow.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After only a few mishaps and a run-in with Zenigata that was far too enjoyable, they’d absconded with their loot to one of their more cozy safe houses. Goemon didn’t leave for any secret personal quests and Fujiko didn’t hightail it with more than her fair share of their cash. Which left the four them, together for once, with no heist, just a simple relaxing evening.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Lupin ended up falling asleep on the couch, like a toddler with a sugar crash, head pillowed on Fujiko's lap. Fujiko hadn’t shrugged him off but merely nodded off as well on Goemon's shoulder, who’s mediating Jigen was pretty sure was simply upright sleeping.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">From his position on the armchair, where he’d insisted on perching- his paranoia would not allow his back to face a window, his eyes narrowed suspiciously as Goemon's neck leaned, back, back, until it hit the back of the couch. The samurai's brows smoothed with the relaxation of sleep. </span>
</p><p class="p2">Jigen suppressed an unimpressed snort. <em>Mediating his ass.</em></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He stood up, and carefully crept across the room, pulling a blanket out of the closet and tossing it over Lupin carefully. He shucked off the man’s shoes, shaking his head as he started snoring. At least the others had managed to drop off before Lupin's usual nighttime racket had started up. He added another blanket for Goemon and Fujiko, shaking his head with fond exasperation. </span>
</p><p class="p2">Jigen stood, admiring his handiwork before starting for his room.</p><p class="p2">It was only after he readied himself for bed, the lights off, his ever-present hat on the nightstand, sheets cool and stiff around him that he realized.</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It dawned on him how domestic his life had become. </span>
</p><p class="p2">He had just tucked in his boss.</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">His friend.</span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">His </span> <span class="s2"> <em>best</em> </span> <span class="s1"> friend.</span></p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Something strange sparked inside him. They were his </span> <span class="s2"><em>friends. </em></span><span class="s1">Even the damnable Fujiko and her constant betrayals. There, in the darkness of the night, alone by himself, he felt a terrible longing. He would die for them, he knew, without a thought- without any hesitation in the slightest.</span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">An uncomfortable knot formed in his stomach, a scratch starting in his throat.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And he knew they couldn’t possibly feel the same way.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Criminals didn’t just make friends that easily. All friends were was an asset, another tool in the trade, one that could easily turn on you for profit.</span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Lupin had </span> <span class="s2">only</span> <span class="s1"> hired him for his skill, and, just like the rest of their little group, he had easily rallied around the thief, drawn in by his charisma and his talents.</span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The itch grew, that horrible feeling growing, curling around his spine, the feeling that those he loved would never hold him in the same regard. Jigen closed his eyes, lips thinning. He didn’t need to think of this now. He didn’t need to spoil the good memories with reality.</span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Not when he lay here, without the light of day to stave off his doubts, without the warmth of his- his </span> <span class="s2">friends</span> <span class="s1"> at his back to reassure him, for a singular moment, to let him </span> <span class="s2"><em>pretend</em></span> <span class="s1">-</span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jigen choked, a cough building in his throat, ripping its way out of his mouth. The fit ended almost abruptly as whatever had stuck itself in his throat dislodged itself.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jigen lay there a moment, a hand rubbing his forehead, his chest aching, as if a knife had been run through it.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He should sleep. Though he knew it was already going to be a long night.<br/></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He sighed and rolled over.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jigen didn’t notice the flower petals in the bedding. </span>
</p><hr/><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Almost a week later, the sick feeling persisted, strange twinges pulled at his chest, like a hook sunk deep inside that tore and shredded his insides. </span>
</p><p class="p2">He’d thought maybe, he had heartburn.</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Lupin seemed to notice his normal stride was off, after the second time he’d found Jigen hunched against the wall. It was surprisingly easy to shrug off. After all, he loomed like a crow normally.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He’d been listening to Lupin and Goemon, who had joined them once again, though this time the samurai was the one who needed their help. Lupin had been teasing him over lunch about the woman across the cafe who kept staring at him, which had turned the samurai's cheeks pink. Jigen had felt an unusual change, an unfamiliar but increasingly common warmth of camaraderie and friendship.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The moment was ruined by an urgent scratch in his throat. </span>
</p><p class="p2">He’d bolted for the bathroom instinctively, leaving both men puzzled behind him before Lupin cracked some joke about food poisoning and cackled madly.</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jigen found himself perhaps dying as he coughed up quite possibly a lung, something he swore hadn’t been there before lodging his airway. Wet clumps, bitter and sodden and disgusting filled his mouth. He choked them out into the toilet he was crouched over.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Finally, after another gut wrenching cough and a sickening plop, he found himself staring at a wet bundle of vibrant flower petals.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jigen rubbed his throat, staring uncomprehendingly.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He'd coughed up flowers.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And he knew what that meant.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">In all of many his travels with and without Lupin, he’d heard of Hanahaki disease. The sickness where flowers grew inside it’s recipients, its victims slowly choking on the roots and flowers that twined themselves around their insides and up their lungs like a deadly beautiful vice grip. He’d once scoffed at such a thing, after all, only fools got sick when their love was unrequited. Well, he was the idiot now.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But who was he in love with?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There was no one.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He leaned back against the stall, trying to regulate his breathing, even the very air irritating his sore throat.</span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">The flowers would explain the burn he’d felt in his chest, that terrible aching </span> <span class="s2"><em>longing- </em></span><span class="s1">Jigen's breath hitched, another cough budding- growing- at the thought. His eyes widened from under his hat.</span></p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">He </span> <span class="s2"><em>was</em></span> <span class="s1"> a stupid bastard, just like all the other victims. He’d gotten hanahaki over a longing for mere </span> <span class="s2"><em>friendship.</em></span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He closed his eyes, teeth gritting, as he leaned his head against the wall of the bathroom stall, trying to ignore the ache.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The only way to stop the spread of such a thing was to cut it out, right at the source, destroying the- the <em>love</em> one felt completely. Those who didn’t undergo the surgery, he knew, suffered a horrific suffocating death, flowers blossoming out of the throat in some grotesque bouquet. A common ending in the old stories usually concluded with the hero or heroine dying some dramatic symbolic death.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">An ending he was not eager for. </span>
</p><p class="p2">Jigen dragged a hand down his face.</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He couldn’t deal with this right now.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Goemon and Lupin were outside, probably wondering where the hell he was. Lupin was most likely proposing a lot of uncomfortable insinuations about what he was doing in here for so long, and definitely making Goemon blush even worse.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jigen sighed, voice rasping against his abused throat.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He pushed himself to his feet, flushing the toilet, neatly erasing all evidence of the flowers he’d choked up.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He knew that ignoring the problem wouldn’t fix it.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But one could hope, couldn’t they?</span>
</p><hr/><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It only got worse.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Every moment he spent with the team seemed to make the flowers grow, the dreadful roots twining around his lungs, squeezing like a band around his chest. The pain was a constant tickle in the back of his throat which he couldn’t help imagining were the flowers reaching ever higher.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When Lupin resorted to his usual antics, the warm growth of helplessly fond annoyance bloomed in his chest- but at least it was easy to hide the small purple petals of delphiniums and scattered white chrysanthemums. </span>
</p><p class="p2">Even when Goemon forced them on an inconvenient detour for some inane tradition- a detour which Lupin scoffed and rolled his eyes at it but noticeably allowed the delay anyway. Goemon always thanked them coolly with a spark of happiness in his eyes. Jigen was usually forced to excuse himself to the bathroom to rid himself of snow white freesia and pale pink gladiolus petals.</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Even Fujiko produced a reaction. When she used her skills to get them into a vault and then back out again, a betrayal for once nowhere to be seen, larkspur and snapdragon forced their way out of his throat later that evening.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mostly however, he coughed up alstroemerias, bright pink and orange petals, which, he supposed were beautiful in their own way. He had refused to look up the meaning of the flowers even though he dimly remembered that there was some sort of method to what grew. He hadn’t wanted to know, he hadn’t wanted to give meaning to what was slowly killing him, eating at his insides, and blossoming in his blood.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He finally caved late one night, however, after a particularly bad fit, the now normal sight of orange and pink petals staining the tiled floor of the bathroom in the darkness.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Lupin's delphiniums he found, symbolized lightheartedness, fun, levity, and attachment. White chrysanthemums were for loyal love, fidelity, joy, and long life- the irony of which was not lost on him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Goemon's flowers were different. Freesia symbolized thoughtfulness and innocence, gladiolus signifying remembrance, strength of character, faithfulness, and honor. His lips twisted upwards, thinking of how well it fit the samurai.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Fujiko's larkspur represented levity and lightness, but at the same time it symbolized fickleness and haughtiness. Snapdragon as well had negative connotations. While meaning strength and graciousness, it also signified deception.</span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">He didn’t want to think about how well the flowers represented his friends. He didn’t want to think about how he was being eaten alive because he was too weak to get a grip, too hungry, too sickeningly, </span> <span class="s2"><em>disgustingly</em></span> <span class="s1"> desperate for love and friendship that he choked on his own need for it. Worst of all, as the flower's growth deepened, burrowing deeper into his chest cavity, he found himself realizing they weren’t simply friends, no, they were his </span> <span class="s2"><em>family</em></span><span class="s1">, and his <em>home</em>. And he couldn’t bear to destroy that which had taken root. He couldn’t bear to lose them.</span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He shook his head, and returned to searching for the meaning in what was killing him. The last flower, alstroemeria, the one that plagued him constantly, symbolized wealth, fortune, prosperity, and the deepest of friendships.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jigen sighed, putting his head in his hands, the clinical blue glow of his phone illuminating the dark bathroom. He was choking on his own stupid heart, aching for a family he could never have.</span>
</p><hr/><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jigen grunted an affirmative as Lupin pointed at the map on the table, gesturing expansively. Goemon sat to his right, still, silent, eyes closed as he listened. Fujiko sat to his left, leaning back, chin in her hands. Fujiko rarely kept to the plan, but they included her anyways, at Lupin's insistence and despite his own protests- which he hadn’t bothered to voice this go around. It would’ve taken too much effort and energy that he didn’t have.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was all he could do at the moment to even breathe. </span>
</p><p class="p2">"....Jigen?"</p><p class="p2">He started, voice hoarse, "W- what?"</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Lupin stared at him. Actually, they all were staring, Fujiko with an eyebrow raised and Goemon's intense gaze leveled on him, searching for something.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Lupin's brows drew down, "Say, Jigen, I said that more than a couple times. Are you feeling alright?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Had Lupin called him more than once? To his chagrin, he found he couldn’t remember. Jigen didn’t meet his eyes, grateful for his hat, "Didn't hear you."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He didn’t miss the significant glances the three of them gave each other.</span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Jigen's shoulders hunched. He didn’t need them and he didn’t need their concern. The vice grip of the flowers winding around his chest chose that moment to remind of him of their presence, squeezing so tightly they took his breath away, reminding him </span> <span class="s2">exactly</span> <span class="s1"> how much he needed them.</span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">His throat burned, the weight of flowers pushing at his throat, but he wouldn’t crack. Not under their scrutiny.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Fujiko uncrossed her arms, "Jigen... you know we've all noticed something... <em>off</em> with you these past few weeks. Are you sure there isn’t something wrong?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jigen gritted his teeth, eyes watering, "I’m fine."</span>
</p><p class="p2">Goemon leaned forward, eyes narrowing, "Jigen...?"</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Before he could finish, Jigen stood, chair clattering as he escaped, practically throwing himself out of the room. The cough built in his throat, the flower petals filling his lungs, slowly suffocating him. He slammed the bathroom door closed and braced himself as the petals ripped their way outwards.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He closed his eyes, desperately trying to dislodge the flowers from his throat. Finally the fit stopped, or at least the coughing did. There was a strange sort of fluttering in his chest and he couldn’t seem to breathe.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He sat for a moment, hand to his chest, fingers gripping his jacket in a white knuckled grip as he frantically tried to drag in a breath.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The moment passed and he sucked in air desperately.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jigen slumped, relishing the feeling of air.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">That had been terribly close. He licked his lips and frowned, the taste of copper on his tongue. His brows furrowed as he stared at the mat of flowers in the toilet bowl. His eyes widened. The pulp made of what had once been flower petals was soaked with red, staining their normal colors with the darkness of blood.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">His condition was worsening.</span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">He needed to do something, and </span> <span class="s2"> <em>soon</em></span><span class="s1">. </span></p><p class="p2">He couldn’t continue his inaction for much longer.</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jigen stood on shaky legs, flushing the toilet and watching the mass of blood and petals disappear. He wiped his mouth, grimacing at the taste of salt and copper.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jigen straightened his jacket and opened the bathroom door.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He flinched back at the accusing eyes of his friends, Lupin staring at him with a sort of worry, arms crossed, "Jigen. We need to talk."</span>
</p><hr/><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jigen shouldered his way past him, "About what?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He winced as his voice cracked.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They followed him, Goemon speaking up, "What were you doing? We heard coughing."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jigen's shoulders hunched.</span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Fujiko asked carefully, "Are you sick, Jigen? And just can’t admit it because of your </span> <span class="s2"><em>massive</em></span> <span class="s1"> ego?"</span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Lupin piped up, "Are you okay, Jigen?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"....Jigen?"</span>
</p><p class="p2"><span class="s1">Jigen turned, snapping, hoping to drive them away, "I don’t </span> <span class="s2"><em>need</em></span> <span class="s1"> you, Lupin. Just leave it alone, damn it!"</span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They stared at him wide-eyed. None of them seemed taken aback in the slightest by his outburst. Fujiko's eyes narrowed, Goemon only looked even more worried and Lupin put his hands on his hips, mouth opening for some comeback.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jigen knew, suddenly, deeply, that they wouldn’t give up. They would find out, and he knew, then, that he couldn’t allow such a thing to happen.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He spoke before Lupin could, "Forget it, I’m done."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Lupin spluttered, caught off guard for possibly the first time in his life, "W- what?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jigen marched towards the door of the apartment. The other quickly followed, Lupin sputtering, "Wait, wait! Jigen where are you going? You can’t go out there!"</span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">He grabbed Jigen's shoulder, but the other man shrugged him off, turning to glare at him, "I’m </span> <span class="s2"><em>done</em>,</span><span class="s1"> Lupin. You hear?" </span></p><p class="p2">He flung the front door open and stormed away, slamming it behind him.</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Lupin stared, opened mouthed.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Goemon and Fujiko came to stand beside him, hearing Jigen's footstep echo down the stairs and away.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Goemon spoke into the heavy silence, "There's something wrong with him." </span>
</p><p class="p2">Fujiko nodded, glancing up at Lupin carefully, "Goemon's right, Lupin. Something's really gotten to him."</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Lupin's eyes narrowed.</span>
</p><hr/><p class="p1"><span class="s1">"We </span> <span class="s2">are</span> <span class="s1"> going to look for him, right, Lupin?"</span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Lupin nodded, "Of course, Fuji baby. As if Jigen could get me to let go of something that easily. Clearly he doesn’t know Lupin the Third!"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Goemon spoke up from where he sat on the couch, arms and legs crossed, eyes closed, "Indeed. You're like a dog with a bone."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Hey!"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Fujiko put her hands on her hips, lips twisting, "Well, where would he go? He already has a head start on us. And I don’t know about you, but he probably wouldn’t hesitate to shoot at us." </span>
</p><p class="p2">Goemon shook his head, opening one eye, "He would not shoot us in any of the important places."</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">"Oh </span> <span class="s2"><em>that’s</em></span> <span class="s1"> reassuring."</span></p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Lupin scooped up the car keys, weighing them in his hands carefully, "Jigen won’t head for any of the safe houses. He doesn’t want to be found. So he’ll head somewhere he thinks I would never go." Lupin smirked, "I know </span> <span class="s2"><em>exactly</em></span> <span class="s1"> where he's going to go."</span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He looked up, "It's a bit of a drive though."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Goemon opened both eyes this time, giving the other man his full attention, "In that case we should leave as soon as possible."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Lupin grinned, the keys clinking in his hands, "Great! Let’s go!"</span>
</p><hr/><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Five separate locations and two </span> <span class="s2"><em>very</em></span> <span class="s1"> long days later, everyone was thoroughly tired of each other and of how they were practically living out of the small yellow car.</span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Goemon remained motionless, meditating, in the backseat, brows furrowed with annoyance as Lupin banged his head against the steering wheel.</span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Fujiko sighed, head in her hands, "Are you sure you know Jigen as well as you </span> <span class="s2"><em>think</em></span> <span class="s1"> you do?"</span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Lupin threw his hands up into the air, "Well what would you do?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Fujiko thought for a moment, "Well...."</span>
</p><hr/><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I will never doubt you again, Fujicakes."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Uh-huh and don’t you forget it, Lupin." She tweaked his nose and, if it was possible for a human being to have heart eyes, Goemon was sure Lupin would’ve been making them.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Lupin turned the dirty motel key in the lock carefully, the door opening with a click. They’d posed as police officers looking for Jigen, which hadn’t worked out. The manager at what was possibly the most disgusting motel in the country had refused to let them in. "Privacy was what his customer's valued the most," the man had said. Which, consideringthe state of the place, his silence and discretion was probably the only thing still keeping it running. Leave it to Jigen to sniff out such an unreliable looking place with the most stubborn guard dog ever.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Fujiko had come through, however, and had used her feminine charms to distract the manager and steal the key.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The door of Jigen's small motel room creaked open to reveal a darkened hallway. It smelled of smoke and sweetness and... Lupin's eyes widened. And it smelled of blood.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He moved further in, not waiting for his eyes to adjust to the darkness, "Jigen? Jigen are you in here?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The air was stale and far too still.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A cough broke the silence. Lupin nearly tripped over himself as he scrambled towards the noise. He threw open a door and found the bedroom, just as dark as the rest of the house. Goemon at least had some sense, he flicked on the light switch to the right of the door.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The three of them were momentarily blinded.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Lupin blinked the spots out of his eyes, breath hitching as he was finally able to see the room. It was covered in flowers. Pink, purple, orange and white petals of all shapes and sizes littered the floor, the bedside table, and the scattered blankets. A familiar hat rested on the dresser and an old cigarette rested in the cigarette holder. But there was no sign of Jigen.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Except, for the open door to the left that Lupin could guess led to the bathroom. He strode forward, eyes widening as he finally found his wayward partner.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The man sat, hunched near the toilet, hair matted, clothes rumpled, and long legs folded against the narrow wall. Jigen glared up at them. He wiped away flecks of blood from his lips, voice rasping like nails on a chalkboard, "Lupin... I thought I told you to- to fuck off."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Lupin crouched slowly, eyes wide, "As if I ever listened to you, Jigen, old pal." </span>
</p><p class="p2">Jigen snorted, breath hitching, "T- typical."</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He convulsed and then leaned back over the toilet, retching. Goemon and Fujiko stared at Jigen as Lupin rubbed his back. They all winced at the flower petals and splattered blood. The fit died down, Jigen leaning back against the wall, trembling</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Goemon spoke up, "How long have you had hanahaki, Jigen?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The other man bristled and Fujiko shook her head before he could say anything, "It doesn't matter. Let’s just get him on the bed."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was a telling sign of how worried Lupin was that he didn’t make any inappropriate comments about her words.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jigen was too tired to shrug them off as they dragged him to the bed, but he flatly refused to lay down, instead slumping over, breathing heavily from the effort of moving. Goemon and Lupin exchanged a glance from either side of him. Goemon started, stating bluntly, "Who did this to you?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jigen grunted, "No one."</span>
</p><p class="p2">Fujiko put her hands on her hips, "Cut the bullshit, Jigen."</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Jigen snarled, "</span> <span class="s2"> <em>No one.</em> </span> <span class="s1">"</span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Lupin stared at the flowers and the ruined blankets, "How much longer do you have?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jigen shrugged, "Few days."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Fujiko shook her head, "I don’t understand. Why don’t you just get the operation?" She scoffed, "I never took you to be a sap, Jigen." </span>
</p><p class="p2"><span class="s1">He bristled like an angry cat, "It’s </span> <span class="s2"><em>complicated</em></span><span class="s1">."</span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He seemed to shrivel under their stares. Goemon spoke up, "Then tell us, Jigen. We <em>want</em> to understand."</span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">He couldn’t avoid it. Jigen put his head in his hands, croaking quietly, "It isn’t romantic. I’m not </span> <span class="s2"><em>in love</em></span> <span class="s1"> with anyone. I know that much."</span></p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Lupin frowned, "You're dying because someone doesn’t return your </span> <em><span class="s2">friendship?!</span></em><span class="s1">”</span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Fujiko smacked his shoulder, "Lupin!"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jigen had turned red and he glowered at him, voice cracking, "I know it’s pathetic-“ </span>
</p><p class="p2"><span class="s1">Goemon sniffed, interrupting him, "</span><span class="s2"><em>I</em></span> <span class="s1"> can understand the severity of the disease. The bonds of brotherhood are some of the strongest."</span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Lupin rolled his eyes, "Well, gee, no wonder none of you can get a girl. None of you have any sense of romance- but-“ he held up a finger to stop their protests, "I don’t think you're pathetic. But we'll come back to that later. What’s important right now, Jigen, is why you felt you had to run away from us."</span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Jigen opened his mouth but Lupin shushed him, "No, Jigen, it’s my turn. And this </span> <span class="s2"><em>is</em></span> <span class="s1"> more important." He leaned down, hands in his pockets as he forced Jigen to meet his eyes instead of hiding behind his long hair, "It’s one of us isn’t it?"</span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jigen's eyes widened, before, suddenly, he bent over, choking on the flowers twisting their way around his lungs. Goemon braced him as he shuddered, pink petals falling from his mouth.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Lupin straightened as they waited for him to catch his breath, the fit dying down.</span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Jigen finally spoke, "I didn’t want to tell you. It’s... it’s </span> <span class="s2"><em>stupid</em></span><span class="s1">. You’re... you’re family. And don’t even laugh at me Fujiko- I don’t want to hear it-“</span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Fujiko wasn’t laughing. She only stared at him, stunned.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Lupin was the one who laughed.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jigen couldn’t help the feeling of betrayal, twisting his insides. His breath hitched, the roots squeezing tighter.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Lupin wiped the tears from his eyes, "Oh, Jigen you really had me worried there!"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When he saw that Jigen didn’t find the situation as amusing as he did, he sobered quickly. Lupin shook his head and knelt again, "Jigen, I really hate to break it to you. Though I guess I can’t blame you since we never really spelled it out- and-“ he looked up at Goemon who nodded, "If we ever made you feel excluded, we didn’t mean too. But everyone else is already aware of it."</span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Jigen frowned, teeth gritted with annoyance that he seemed to be missing something very obvious, "Aware of </span> <span class="s2"><em>what</em></span><span class="s1">, Lupin?"</span></p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">"We're </span> <span class="s2"> <em>already</em> </span> <span class="s1"> a family, Jigen. Didn’t you know? Why I thought you did? We're practically brothers already, Jige! I mean I’ve seen you in some pretty comprising positions!" He winked, and nudged his shoulder, "We're friends! Partners!"</span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jigen stared at him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Goemon sighed, shaking his head, "Did you think I stay for the riches, Jigen? For the fame? I stay because you are all... home to me."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Fujiko huffed, pouting again at Goemon's earnest look, "You're the only ones who still put up with me, even after.... everything." She shrugged unapologetically.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Lupin glanced around the flower covered room, "We honestly thought you knew the same, Jigen." </span>
</p><p class="p2">The other man put his face in his hands.</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Lupin patted his shoulder and then laid back on the bed, bouncing slightly, "You know as shitty as this motel is, the beds sure are nice."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Fujiko took the hint and flopped down next to him, kicking off her shoes. She noticed the thief's look and huffed, "Not one word, Lupin. It’s been a long week is all."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Lupin closed his eyes, smirking slightly, "As if!"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Goemon placed his sword on the ground and pulled his feet upon on the bed, stretching down across it as well. Jigen remained upright, head buried in his hands. Lupin rolled his eyes, reached forward and yanked the other man down, "C'mon Jigen!"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jigen sighed, face red, glaring at Lupin whose was face filled with uncharacteristic worry.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Finally Jigen spoke, voice cracking, "It’s very comfortable."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Lupin's face split into a grin, "See! There you go! I thought so too! Though next time, we're crashing at a five star hotel! As nice as the beds are, I could do with some room service."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Goemon huffed without missing a beat, eyes closed, "We will never get room service again. The last time you convinced the waitress to visit you after hours, and we did not get any sleep at all."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Fujiko kicked Lupin in the shin, "I bet you did."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Ow! Fujicakes! You know you’re the only one for me, baby!" </span>
</p><p class="p2">Fujiko huffed. Lupin cackled, grin wide and joyful. Goemon sighed.</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The blossoming flowers at the back of his throat shrunk away and the roots around his lungs loosened and withered.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">For the first time in months, next to his family, Jigen breathed freely. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>My tumblr is here: https://ford-ye-fiji.tumblr.com/</p><p>And art of this fic is here!! https://ford-ye-fiji.tumblr.com/post/613755370162323456/sometimes-you-just-gotta-make-art-for-your-own-fic</p></blockquote></div></div>
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